oh na na

i am so much better than this shit and deserve much better, wont ever forget that booboo

Home?

"It was the difference of being a tourist and belonging to a place"

A day or two ago, I would have said I belong to China. Actually, I belong to Beijiao, Foshan, Shunde. I do feel at home here in many ways. I know my way around, know how to do things here, feel safe (somewhat), and know people, but actually this is not home for me. I must admit, before coming to China I never really considered myself THAT American. I was born in Poland and am an American citizen, but actually I felt Polish and somewhat American. Now that I am in China, and especially last night when I was surrounded by FOUR other Americans, I really felt home again, and it made me a little sad. I realized just how much China has changed me... it's simple changes: my speech, my vocabulary, lack of slang, lack of hood-ness (bhahahahahhaha), lack of that Chi Swag that I was writing about last night... I miss that. I have lost a lot of my American-ness, I would say a part of my personality.

The best way I can explain my feelings is that there is a place where you feel like you belong. You might not know it, but there is. You can live somewhere, adapt to society, make new friends and meet new people, but there is a place where you can just BE and feel normal. Now I realize...that is how I feel in the US. People understand you and have similar backgrounds to you. There are a TON of people who like to do similar things as you. It's just all about comfort. Not physical comfort, but a sense of relation to those around you. No one has the same background, but in the US, people have semi-similar manners, expressions, values, cultural references, goals... and that is what ties many Americans together. I cannot think of the right word for all of this... culture? Nationality? Not ethnicity... But that aspect is something I have missed in the last seven months while being here (I have gained A LOT, but also reminisce about things too)

It just made me happy to meet more people like me again. Oh yea, two are from New York and two are from Utah, FYI.

Shawty got a raise

She said I don’t spend time like I really should
she said she don't know me (anymore)
I think she hates me deep down
I know she does
she wants to erase me
hmmmmm
a couple days no talking
I’ve seen my baby
and this what she tells me
she said

I keep on running, keep on running
and nothing works
I can’t get away from you
no, I keep on ducking keep on ducking you, nothing helps
I can’t stop missing you

It’s like I’m her new nightmare
she aint escaping
it makes me feel a bit complete
knowing someone you love don’t feel the same way about you
memories they soon delete

A couple weeks no talking I seen my baby
I missed you so damn much
I wish we could start over
I told my baby
This what this bitch tells me, she said

I keep on running, keep on running
and nothing works
I can’t get away from you
no, I keep on ducking keep on ducking you, nothing helps
I can’t stop missing you

Cause I’m in the magazines, on the tv
no matter where you are you might hear me

Uh, I’m Yeezy
she said Hi I’m Agnieszkaaaa
No! You an angel you wave hi to Aaliyah
I got a show in Korea
they built a new arena
why don’t you come watch it and tear the whole scene up
I know I’ve seen you before but don’t know where I seen ya
oh I remember now, it’s something I that I dreamed of
Don C said she cool but don’t let her f-ck ya cream up
Monica Lewinski on ya dress take ya to the cleaners
sure enough a week later I’m in extra love
let everybody know she mine so she extra club
every bouncer every club show her extra love
we just praying the new fame don’t get the best of us
all good things gotta come to an end-a
she let it go to her head, no not mine-ria
the height of her shopping was writers blocking me
I couldn’t get my sh-t out anyway, I hope she’s diarrhea

Today was a good day. You know one of those days where things just seem to be going your way? As you can tell from this title, shawtyyyy got a raiseee (a hefty one at that). Holla. (BTW I'm on that CuDi shit right now...) I'm going shopping this weekend because I realized my Chi Swag has dwindled :( I was always on top of my shit in the US, but in China it's a little harder, so we all know I GOTTA go hard and pick that shit up! Oh yea, and I has dinner with four new AMERICANS today who live pretty close to me and I remembered how much I miss home and how much I have changed in the last seven months. Not bad or good, but less American... that includes that Chi City swag. I don't even have the same accent anymore and the same vocabulary!!! Style in China is on a different level than the US, a LOWER level. No worries, in the next five months this biatch is gonna get back on top of it. Hope I really get to see 30.. wanna settle down, stop being so...

Until next time boos.

BeiHai II

And onto BeiHai... continued.

Our second day, we knew we had to hit the beach. The weather was wonderful and the sun was shining. We walked across the street from our hotel and reached the sand. We headed away from the people that were on the beach and laid down a sheet on the sand... and began tanning (that is, Monika and I did. Audre was afraid of the sun because she had just gotten burnt in 20 minutes in Sanya). The sun WAS hot, but not too hot. I could tell I was getting darker faster than if I laid out in the US though. Score!

(This is what happens when you are a foreigner in China--many requests for pictures)

After about three hours on the beach we went back to the hotel, cleaned up and went into town. We were supposed to meet two other girls, but they didn't call us until so the three of us took a rickshaw to some restaurant. Audre really wanted to eat Vietnamese food and Wikipedia said there should be lots of those restaurants in town, but we couldn't find any. We had the rickshaw driver drive us to some restaurant and it was, of course, a seafood place, so we went to one a few places down and it had a great sweet and sour fish so we ordered it.

We also ordered mini Chinese cabbage (because I knew how to say that in Chinese) and some buns with a weird filling (pork fat and vegetables). Afterwards we decided to go to some Western owned bar. After some time we got to a place called "Seafood Island" (Wai Sha) and found Tony's bar (which we read about also on Wikitravel... one of two Western owned bars in Beihai), but before that we sat on some bridge/walkway and had a couple beers. The breeze was blowing, we were all looking good, and life was good.

Later, when we actually sat down at Tony's bar, the other two girls (Barbara and Kate) met up with us and we were approached by some older man who turned out to be from Holland. He said there were only about 50 foreigners in Beihai, and I'm gonna take a wild guess and say about 99% of them are older than 45. We saw a table of them at Tony's, and one of them included Tony. The guy introduced himself and said HE also owned a bar, on "Old Street". He lured us in with saying that the first drink was on him if we would come to his bar, and also that he might have an empty apartment for us to stay in (he's married, no worries) because we lost our hostel for the island for the proceeding nights. He also advised us that the island was not worth going to, or so he had heard from his other bar guests. So we went to his bar about an hour later and had a few drinks (nope, not even one was free, and we didn't ask for a discount). Another girl who worked with Kate and Barbara met us, along with her Russian boyfriend and his friend. Then the party began! We went to another bar, got a table outside, and a bottle of Johnny Walker. We danced a little then took a taxi back to the hotel.

The next day (Sunday), before we could proceed with our day, we had to go to the ferry port to buy our tickets for our island trip. We bought tickets for the next day because the ones for that day were sold out. We saw an Australian and two Americans, but I didn't get a chance to speak with them. I love seeing foreign people in China. So THEN we had to find a hotel and after three tries on a rickshaw, we found an affordable, but kind of shitty one. Beihai has no hostels. The rickshaw driver offered us his services for 10Yuan each, for the whole day! Talk about CHEAP labor (we could get driven anywhere we wanted for less than $2 per person). We didn't take it because we didn't need a driver all day. When we got settled into the hotel, we asked the driver to drive us to a restaurant, and guess what? He took us to the same one as the driver did the day before. Some kind of arrangement and monopoly between that restaurant and rickshaw drivers? I think so. So we went to the other restaurant (from the previous day) and the rickshaw driver noticed and called Kate over. He told her that she would need to pay him now, instead of after, since we didn't take his restaurant choice. I think the rickshaw drivers can lower their prices if they drive us to this particular restaurant because for every group it takes there, they get some money, but since we didn't go there, they wanted money from

us right away, and more money as a matter of fact. Finally we ate, got ready in the hotel and then went to Silver Beach which was horrible (crowded and far).

We had a lot of "firsts" this trip, and many at Silver Beach. I drank my first coconut juice out of a coconut, we all got stung by jellyfish (or medusa hehehehhehe)...oh Monika and I got charged 5Yuan for taking a picture with a plastic crab, and luckily my Chinese saved us (this phrase saves us very often... they think you're just a stupid foreigner). Tīng bù dǒng (don't understand). This place was soooo crowded and pretty far from where we lived, so it was kind of a pointless beach excursion... except I got super tan in the few hours we were outside. The Russians and Amy (the Chinese girl who is dating one of them) met us at the beach and it was fun. We went back to the hotel and showered then headed to WaiSha, again, to have dinner at a local seafood place.

As you can see from the picture above, someone was drunk hahaha. We ate a meal that was catered to us and our budget (some people didn't want to eat anything too expensive, even though the meal itself was super cheap). We had shrimp, eggplant, fish, beer (of course), mussels, noodles, and other dishes I can't recall. Later, we drank a few bottles outside (of beer, NOT vodka) and Monika, Max (pictured above) went to the club! First we had a few drinks at that Holland Bar (which isn't really my favorite to say the least) and I taught Monika and Max how to play that drinking dice game (too hard to explain in a blog, but I love this game when I'm drinking and I must admit, I'm pretty good). Then we went to a place called... NONE OTHER THAN The KK Club. Bahahahhaha, how does the KK find me, even on the coast of China!? Hehehhe.

We had a GREAT time at the "club". It was filled with Chinese guys, but it was more like a bar. Maxsim ordered Chivas whiskey for us (don't think we have that in the US, but it's popular here) and we danced and drank. At some point, Max knocked over a bubbly fish tank next to the DJ on the dance floor, but it was ok, because we were not Chinese... and I'm not joking here. Many people came to us and brought cans of beers so we would drink with them and so we did! At some point Monika came up to me and told me to hide Max's keys to his rented moped. I guess he told her "He would be back in three minutes" and that's when she knew he was drunk, so she followed him. While I was at our table drinking with people, I saw that some Chinese guy was chasing someone or something with a bamboo cane. Then everyone ran from the club outside. Obviously I was a little nervous so I followed and saw Monika crouching over Max whose face was pretty bloody. She told me to call the ambulance (umm what the fff is the number to an ambulance in China? How do I call if I can't speak Chinese?!) I had no idea what to do so I got Monika's phone and she called someone, I think Kate, but no one answered. We grabbed our things and headed toward the street where we knew there would be taxis. At this point, we had no idea what happened... I was inside, and Monika only found Max a minute after she went outside when he was already beat up. We got a taxi and made Max tell him "doctor" in Chinese. We went to the hospital and waited while Max got stitches under his right eye. No passport necessary. We filled out some info, but I filled it out so it obviously was made up, because even I didn't know Max that well! The doctor told us the fee and Monika said "500 Yuan?!" "No, FIVE Yuan, Monika", said I. She thought it was 500Yuan, but I heard five. FIVE? Pretty cheap for stitches and some shots. I think that's less than what it cost for the materials used. The hospital was pretty empty considering it was about 1AM. I was pouting the whole time (drunk and had a pretty good set up at the club), but trying to take in the fact that I was in a Chinese hospital... anyway, we have no idea what happened to Max or how the fight started, but he told Monika three different, fuzzy stories while drunk. I know how to deal with a drunk person now though, just pretend they're a baby. Max is fine, we are all fine, and our night ended with Monika and I sharing her twin sized bed in the hotel room, and Max sleeping in my bed. And oh yea, when we woke up his pillowcase was all bloody because of the wounds on his face.

Until BeiHai III post people! Thanks for reading.

当初你叫我滚开，现在又要我滚回来，对不起，滚远了

Time will tell.

Oh life... how you fuck me over. In the past seven months that I have been in China (October 8th was the seventh anniversary!!!) I have not really been cheated by anyone knowingly. Usually I can tell when something is a scam... but I have noticed that EVEN in China, these people find UNTHINKABLE ways to cheat you. It could be the simplest thing... something you would not expect, and that is how they get you! There is no 30 or 90 day return policy here, no way to complain (one because I don't speak Chinese, and two, because the whole point of selling is to cheat you out of your money). As Audre found out by buying headphones in a store for about 40Yuan... They obviously broke and what happened? She could return them within ten days of the purchase, OR pay about half the price of the headphones for ANOTHER pair (if she wanted to return them more than 10 days after) which would likely break again. Or Serena who bought a camera for pretty much the US price... which also broke about a month later. Or there were times when I thought I was getting a good deal on something because I saw it more expensive in another store, but then hmm... a part of that something is missing somehow... so actually I just ended up not getting cheated but also not winning. Fu**ing China.

Anyway, yesterday Monika and I went shopping to Guangzhou Railway Station... usual spot for shoes and some other random things. I didn't find the shoes I wanted and some other ones were too expensive I thought, so I didn't get anything. I was on the way to the bus when I noticed the fruit prices at the bus station were really low (they usually are). I decided to buy 10 kiwis for 10Yuan and 40 lychees, also for 10Yuan. I was picking out kiwis and the vendor woman helped me pick out a few. The she tied my bag and double bagged it. Next to her was a lady selling lychees so I also wanted to buy some. I counted the ones I put in my bag and she also put a few in for me... 38. It was supposed to be 40 so I said 39 by accident and she put one more in for me, oh well... one lychee won't make a difference I thought. The she tied my bag, double bagged it and I got my money. I only had a 100 bill, so I have it to her. Then that bitch had the audacity to give me back seven tens instead of 8. So I told her and she snuck a ten out of the money I gave her and gave me another 10, still leaving me with 7 tens. So I started counting and she pulled the money away from me and actually gave me a 50, a 20, and a 10. Mission accomplished, or so I thought I took my money and left, reminding myself to count the lychees at home to see if they ripped me off. Well, well, well, to my surprise I counted 24 lychees instead of 40 and 8 kiwis instead of 10. I wonder how that happened. I'm assuming they both switched the bags with previously packed bags when I was counting my money...Pride is hurt majorly :( So next week, I am going to come up with a scheme to get these tricks back.

Lily told me there are two ways these vendorse try to scam everyone and anyone. One way is when they help you pick out fruit, they actually put the fruit in another bag, and not yours, so you end up only with the fruit YOU pick out, which is less than the amount you're supposed to get. Number two is while you're getting your money, they switch your full bag with a bag they previously fill themselves (with less and worse fruit). Oh how did I LET them fool me like this?!?!?! UGHHHHHHHH!!! So one time Lily was supposed to buy 20 mangosteen for 20Yuan. She told me she knew about their "trickery" so she told the lady "Don't touch the fruit, I can get them myself, and I will hold the bag" and the woman responded, "Well if that is the case, then you can only have 15 fruit, and not 20". So it seems that they expect to rip EVERYONE off. Finally, once I was leaving Katia's apartment and going to the bus and I saw a man knock over a woman's fruit stand while yelling and yelling at her. I thought, "What a jerk, blah blah" but now I totally understand! What biatches... if I knew, I also would have knocked their stand over!

On another note, the first Chinese man ever won the Nobel Peace Prize. His name is Liu Xiaobo, a political dissident, and he is being imprisoned somewhere in the northeast of China for trying to peacefully bring democracy into China. His wife is also supposedly under house arrest now, due to her husband's award. I am not an expert on this subject, so please read the newspaper on this subject. So interesting!!! Censorship and communism at it's best.

BeiHai

iPod songs on the way home: All John Legend and Anthony Hamilton (especially "The Day We Met", "Ordinary People", and "The Point of it All")

For all those that have read the previous post, you know that I went to Beihai last week. I went home after work, ate, and packed quickly. I took some random bus to Guangzhou that cost me about 5 times the bus I usually take. THEN I had to take a taxi and meet Audre and Monika. We then took forever to get a taxi back to Monika's but finally made it back. We went to sleep right away because the next day, we'd have to wake up at 4am or so.It was VERY easy to get a taxi to the train station, especially considering Monika lives in a place I'd call Bumblefu*k.

Train Station when we arrived in Guangzhou

Our train was late (the one time we come EARLY, the train is LATE... figures) We thought the universe was just trying to stop us from going on vacation as a warning. First, our hostel on the island (where we would stay for two nights) was cancelled, we all met at different times, took more than an hour from Guangzhou to find a taxi, and some other things I can't remember. On the train to Zhanjiang, all three of us slept.

Then we took some random private bus to Beihai. We got off at the train station, took a rickshaw to a gas station, and bought tickets there to Beihai (with the help of a girl who spoke pretty good English at the train station).

Rickshaw (our mode of transportation throughout this trip)

We sat on tiny stools on the bus then in actual seats (not enough room, of course).

When we got to Beihai it was dark and we took a taxi to our hotel. We went to dinner at a local seafood restaurant (there were plenty) and ordered by pointing at the fish in tanks... At least they were fresh.

We sat on the beach for a bit and the tide was SO low. Some people were lighting lanterns and letting them fly for the holiday (which was National Day Week), but actually I think they just letting these go on the beach. Some teenagers were so excited we were watching that they came over to talk to us and show off their English, which was pretty poor. Nevertheless, it was funny. I also practiced my Chinese.

Audre didn't feel like drinking after, but Monika and I (being the true blooded Polish that we are) decided we would keep drinking and eat some barbecue on the beach. We ordered two beers to begin with, two clams and sat down at this classy place:

Of course we ended up ordering more food and two more beers, which put us at a grand total of 42RMB (which is about $6 for those of you that are bad at conversions). Ahhhh and this is one of the reasons I love China.

The pictures under this post are also from this vacation. To be continued later, since uploading these pictures and writing is a tiring task. Hehehhe

This the ISH

I won't pretend that I intend to stop living
I won't pretend I'm good at forgiving
But I can't hate you
Although I have tried

I still really really love you
Love is stronger than pride
I still really really love you

Sitting here wasting my time
Would be like
Waiting for the sun to rise
It's all too clear things come and go
Sitting here waiting for you
Would be like waiting for winter
It's gonna be cold
There may even
Be snow

I still really really love you
Love is stronger than pride
...

These really get to me. Thank you Drizzy

What you mean I ain’t call you?
I hit you when I landed
I’m waiting in my hotel room
seems like we are arguing more and it’s getting less romantic
yeah, I think she’ll be able to tell soon
but I f-ck you right I will
I f-ck you right I will
I’ll f-ck you like no one has ever ever made you feel
I mean this part of our relationship's amazing still
I might just put up with the arguing and stay for real
you looking mad, girl for goodness sakes
you with all those curves and me without no breaks
ooh, I’m willing to work it out however long it takes you
you feel like you miss those happy days well girl that makes two of us
Our timing is wrong, your friends always tying up every line on your phone
yeah but tell them b-tches that you’ll always be my misses
and the hardest part about the f-cking business is minding your own
uhh, and everytime I try and break it off
we just yell until we tired then I break you off
it’s useless all this fighting lets get past it now
even when I throw them deuces you just send it back around

听不懂