A day or two ago, I would have said I belong to China. Actually, I belong to Beijiao, Foshan, Shunde. I do feel at home here in many ways. I know my way around, know how to do things here, feel safe (somewhat), and know people, but actually this is not home for me. I must admit, before coming to China I never really considered myself THAT American. I was born in Poland and am an American citizen, but actually I felt Polish and somewhat American. Now that I am in China, and especially last night when I was surrounded by FOUR other Americans, I really felt home again, and it made me a little sad. I realized just how much China has changed me... it's simple changes: my speech, my vocabulary, lack of slang, lack of hood-ness (bhahahahahhaha), lack of that Chi Swag that I was writing about last night... I miss that. I have lost a lot of my American-ness, I would say a part of my personality.
The best way I can explain my feelings is that there is a place where you feel like you belong. You might not know it, but there is. You can live somewhere, adapt to society, make new friends and meet new people, but there is a place where you can just BE and feel normal. Now I realize...that is how I feel in the US. People understand you and have similar backgrounds to you. There are a TON of people who like to do similar things as you. It's just all about comfort. Not physical comfort, but a sense of relation to those around you. No one has the same background, but in the US, people have semi-similar manners, expressions, values, cultural references, goals... and that is what ties many Americans together. I cannot think of the right word for all of this... culture? Nationality? Not ethnicity... But that aspect is something I have missed in the last seven months while being here (I have gained A LOT, but also reminisce about things too)
It just made me happy to meet more people like me again. Oh yea, two are from New York and two are from Utah, FYI.
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